It still seems difficult to believe that little over a year ago, at the end of Easter 2014, I had enjoyed my longest spell out and about as my true self of three whole days… and now I have lived as my true self for three whole months! It’s amazing, but also reassuring, that life is so, well, normal… and yet at the same time so much more fulfilling and happy than it ever was before. Here are some highlights of this week:
Monday 27th April – I had my second lunch out with a senior IT manager called Karen, we (well, I know I did) had a great time, and good chat with her. She had phoned beforehand to confirm, and during lunch she said that I had sounded very cheery on the phone… which is very reassuring for me, considering that I used to be considered a bit of a misery. I told her I was worried about my voice, and how much I felt I was straining it during a long day, she said it sounded good, and she also complimented my nails – she thought they were false due to their length, but no, they are real. Had some good weekend catch-up with the girls in my office, Liesa said my makeup is good, neither over- nor under-done, which was nice to hear; I do try hard to get it right.
Tuesday 28th April – I had such a nice moment with Breda at work in the morning, I bumped into her in the kitchen as I went to make some tea, I was wearing a recently purchased dress and she said “Look at you! So pretty” – ahh, how nice. Then she asked where the dress was from, after saying it was exactly the kind of thing she would wear, and how wonderful for someone to enquire where I had bought something – so I told her it was M&S and we compared views on their general offering… which were not overly favourable. Then she got a bit excited, just like the first time she met the new-me, noticing on my neck either my necklace or the way I blend my foundation (or both), and then pointed out how animated my hands get when I get into an enjoyable conversation… and then she said “I’m so proud of you”, kind of a motherly comment, and I almost cried.
Wednesday 29th April – work was pretty normal and unmemorable… apart from having to miss lunch due to work pressure and eating just a few Ryvita-thins (which are more tasty than normal Ryvitas) kindly offered to me by my nice work-neighbour Nuala. So whether I would meet any friends later was a bit touch and go, but I got my usual Wednesday train and thus arranged to eat with Kirsty as I was very hungry. Beforehand I went to Sainsburys for a fairly sizeable shop… where the checkout was a total disaster, there were so few checkout staff that I went self-checkout, but first I started scanning at a station that wouldn’t take my bottles of wine, then at another station several things would not scan. Eventually I met Kirsty near our usual Costa and, as it was pouring with rain, we went to the closest restaurant, a new rustic looking place with an African theme; no idea what it’s called. I was a bit fed up – fed up with the weather, fed up at getting no lunch break at work, and particularly fed up with my voice strain… but meeting Kirsty cheered me up a bit, as did the realisation during the meal that it was exactly three months at that time since I had come home from work, cast aside male clothes, and embarked on my new and wonderful life as a woman. Near the end of the meal I went to the toilet, one of several unisex affairs… with a rather unusual décor.
Thursday 30th April – today was my true three-month anniversary – I told Nuala and, like me, she said she couldn’t believe it, she said “Time flies… but you made the right choice”. Today I had my lunch break at 3.20pm!!! Oh what a wonderful place I work… sigh.
Friday 1st May – for the first time in three days I got out to get my lunch at a reasonable time… though still didn’t end up eating it until 3.15. I had a good catch-up with Mary (who commented that I look so happy now… and later in an email said I look great), then a meeting with an IT manager… who told me that, along with most of the company, I would not be getting a pay rise or a bonus 😦 Late in the afternoon I had a wonderful long chat with Liesa, she is very understanding and a good listener… and I hope I am too for her, we talked about some personal things, and she told me something that she said she had not told anyone else, so it is nice to be confided in.
So that was my latest week at work – nothing exciting I suppose… but in this new life I was not looking for excitement, not looking for any radical change in the pattern of my life, what I wanted was to live my life as my true self, be able to look in the mirror every day and see a reflection of who I truly am, and feel right in everything that I do… and so far that it is pretty much exactly the way things are working out.