Now EVERYONE knows about the real me, about Andrea… and an amazing meal at The Plough

In recent weeks on a Friday I have commented on how my working week has gone… as a woman… but alas my working week has not finished yet as I am working the whole weekend, probably ridiculous hours… and without being paid for any of them. So, instead, a few odds and ends…

In the last couple of weeks I have come out to all of the rest of the people that I know… and ALL have been positive to some extent. Firstly an old uni-friend Ruth who I have remained in touch with, albeit only at birthday and Christmas times; she sent me an email within a day of receiving my letter, reassuring me that she wished to remain friends. Secondly another friend, Shirley, who I have known for over 20 years and almost had a relationship with – she also wrote soon after receiving my coming-out letter, saying that she was shocked, cried a lot, but “loves me and reassures me our friendship is intact”. Somewhat oddly and uniquely, she said she felt cheated and angry that I had not told her much earlier, that I had not said ‘goodbye’ as old-me before being introduced to new-me, and that she had not been able to control the situation – I had to remind her that this is MY situation, that I HAD to remain in control of such that it remained on the rails as much as possible (and it has), and that even my parents did not get what she asked for… and I am their offspring! Also I had dropped hints to her… which were not picked up on. This week I came out to two guys I knew at work, I say ‘knew’ because they have now left my company, but one I am in regular email contact, and the other not so much but he was looking for a reference from me; they both recognise that I will be much happier, and in fact the ‘regular’ contactee said that his accountant transitioned to womanhood a couple of years ago too!! So, that’s EVERYONE done!! And only my daughter and brother are at odds with the situation. My daughter, due to her age, was obviously going to be a problem… but my brother I remain somewhat puzzled about, he was the very first one who I came out to, in an earlier discussion he dismissed people who are bigoted at being “old school”, and yet he still has a problem getting used to the new-me, even if we email every week or so. Maybe if he talked about it to someone…

I read my BFF’s blog about shoes and, of course, I feel for her in that her desire to have her pick of ladies shoes is restricted by her foot-size. My feet are generally a UK size 7, and they are not that wide… and yet finding a pair of truly comfortable shoes (boots are not quite such an issue) that my feet will be happy in for a whole day now that I am 24-7 is becoming a really difficult challenge. And it seems as though any store that sells ladies shoes that are designated as comfortable generally charges a lot for the privilege of having that comfort, and lumbers one with a very frumpy shoe; M&S’s current Footglove selection are a sheer disaster to any gal like me looking for something with even a moderate amount of chic pizazz to them.

On Wednesday I left work early and finally was able to post my passport application, in my new name with new, transformed photo… which really is not too bad, compared to the heart-numbing image in the last one. Later, after an uneventful and unmemorable Tesco shop, I went for dinner with my two best girlie friends Kirsty and Michelle somewhere I have not been too for many years (and thus never as Andrea) because whenever that last time was the lunchtime fair appeared uninspiring; however, this recent evening at The Plough was a resounding success with astonishingly good food! There was a curry night on, which initially was not of great interest to me as I don’t like spicy food, but this newly adventurous girl threw her caution to the wind and ordered a seafood tikka marsala for a main course, with a duck spring roll for starters – the spring roll was substantial, tasty, and well-presented, while the main course was extraordinarily good, probably the best Indian course I have had with amazing seafood flavours shining through a delicious sauce that complimented well. We weren’t going to have a dessert, but the very bubbly and friendly waitress (who addressed as ‘ladies’ several times) easily persuaded us to share a selection of mini-deserts; after coffees/teas, we left the restaurant over two hours after our arrival with every intention of going back.

That above paragraph, with the mention of photos, reminds me of an incident while Kirsty was staying over. Maybe I have mentioned it before, I can’t remember. Anyway, I wanted to show Kirsty some pictures of my daughter as she was growing up… but alas inevitably came across some pictures with ‘him’ (i.e. old-me) in them – well, frankly they made me feel sick, and I have ripped all-but-one of them up, even if they were a reminder of times with Tara, I just HAD to get rid of them… the same as I have just come across a ludicrously large mug in my kitchen with the words ‘Dad, my hero’ written on it, and I just had to get rid of it – I am NOT a ‘Dad’, I am a parent who was stuck in the wrong body for too long who still has a tonne of love for my daughter.

And I will sign off by wishing my lovely daughter a Happy 13th Birthday. Yep, she’s a teenager now… and much as I would have liked to do so, our present circumstances meant that I have not seen my daughter on her birthday, and so could only give her presents by shopping online from the likes of River Island and Superdry; hopefully next year will be different…

x

9 thoughts on “Now EVERYONE knows about the real me, about Andrea… and an amazing meal at The Plough

  1. It was a wonderful and memorable evening at The Plough. Great to see a very happy Andrea.

    Unlike me you can fully justify spending alot on a good quality comfortable pair of shoes for every day wear that are still stylish and chic. Why not treat yourself and no doubt you feet will thank you.

  2. I have to say that for shoes I plan to wear for any length of time, comfort scores over pzazz every time. Were I fortunate to be a svelte Size 7 like some (!), Clarks would be my first port of call for a pair of comfy work shoes.
    And some interesting thoughts there on dealing with the past, from very different perspectives. Should we try and re-write history or acknowledge that it existed? Now, there’s one for a late-night discussion!
    x

  3. I can second Clark’s for comfort. My favourite ankle boots are Clark’s ones and are into their third winter, not even had to have them re healed yet and I never have them off my feet this time of year.

  4. I was quite surprised that there had been anyone left that still didn’t know about the new you. It’s dealt with now anyway.

    Shoes? Well you obviously know my thoughts on the subject. Clarks could be a good shout but you’ll need to be careful to avoid a trip to planet frump – and I can’t imagine a better girl to avoid it. I think there’s a Clarks store at Junction One, not sure about the Outlet near you.

    I really enjoyed our evening in The Plough. Company was great as always, but food, service and ambience were also top notch. We’ll definitely be back. And like Michelle says, your happiness at your new full-time circumstances (unpaid overtime notwithstanding) just shines through, all the more so when we can actually hear you.

    • With respect to Clarks I would agree with Kirsty a little re frump land, and as such would be more inclined to get to their high street shops where there is a surprising selection which is more up to date than their image would suggest. The two outlets are hit and miss as they generally stock the excess overstock from last season so choice can be poor.

    • It is great to be told by so many people how happy I look/sound, especially by good friends; that observation has never been made of me before I ventured out of the house as Andrea! Thanks for the anti-frump comment, I will tread carefully! X

  5. Pingback: Friends Old And New | Kirsty's World

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