A mammoth email from my parents to their TS offspring… as well as a grand day out with Kirsty and increased Andrea-time

On 24th October my parents received the news that their son is actually a transsexual woman; the news stunned them, and my mother in particular I hear gets tearful when she has to think about it in depth. Last Friday I received a HUGE email from them that in summary indicates that they are unlikely to totally reject me, which is good news. However, partly due to at-least my mother being anti-LGBT, I believe they are ashamed of me, and they do not want any of their family tree or their neighbours to know about me; for the moment, communication has now shifted to email, as they feel that phone calls will be too emotional. In their email they wondered whether I had considered male hormone treatment (“and if not, why not”)… even though that would only result in, at the very least, an aggressive transsexual and, more than likely, would lead to me having a total mental breakdown. But at least they are processing the situation, have asked a plethora of questions about timelines, surgery, my daughter, and so on. I have just sent them an equally huge email back to answer as many of their questions as I can.

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On Saturday 8th November I had to work over 14 hours…. which totally wiped me out, and I was somewhat upset that my boss was not happy that at 8.20pm, after all those hours, I called it a day and headed home on the last train available. I was totally wrecked the next day… but my spirits were lifted by an afternoon out with Kirsty followed by a meal out. I left the house at around 1.00pm and arrived at a huge Sainsburys supermarket half an hour later; once inside, I zeroed in on the clothing department and, in the changing rooms, tried on a handful of clothes. I kept two items and, after doing a grocery shop, paid the for the lot at a checkout with a nice chatty girl and then drove over to support-group-headquarters to meet up with my best friend Kirsty. The two of us went to a shopping centre called Yorkgate, and had some good girly moments. We first went into an Asda shop where the ground floor is all clothing, and I soon had a nice moment – an old lady was heading towards me with her trolley and her daughter said to her “watch out for that lady with your trolley mum”, which made me smile; I said thanks to her and she replied “you’re welcome, dear”. After Kirsty and I both bought something, we went into a New Look store and had a good look around, especially amongst the sale isles. I found a lovely pair of ballet pumps in black with a pink floral pattern, matching the dress that I had on that I had bought a week or two earlier at H&M – at the till the girl said “they are a perfect match for your dress”. Indeed! With the best shops exhausted Kirsty suggested heading onto Castle Court shopping centre in Belfast city; on the way to the car we got cash, and it was Kirsty’s turn for a “lady” moment… which she can tell you about. In the city we firstly went for coffee at Starbucks – we both had rather strangely flavoured hot drinks with Christmassy themes, Kirsty suggested going upstairs but I was up for more of a challenge and steered her towards the only table left on the busy ground floor; of course, we had no bother at all. After our refreshment we went to a few shops, including Next where, while browsing handbags together, a man carrying his toddler son said “excuse me ladies”. Yes! At around 6.00 we returned to the car, and back to Lisburn where it was time to get ready for our latest meal out with Michelle.

We dined at a restaurant called Made In Belfast, though not only were the three of us there but also two of Kirsty’s friends, Vin and his wife Deirdre – it was the first time either had met Kirsty as, well, Kirsty, and so for her it was a significant night… and all seemed to go successfully with the couple suggesting we can all go out again. I will not say much more about the evening because I feel that it really is Kirsty’s event to write in detail about. Alas I was so tired from the previous day that I did not enjoy it as much as I would have liked – most of all, the noise, both from the music system and also the bar next to our table, really annoyed me, and I was not very lively for taking a significant role in conversation, also my voice naturally (even as male) is not strong, and so in a noisy atmosphere it is not well suited. The company was good though, and the food was simply delicious with courses getting better and better – my chicken in a rich mushroom and wine sauce was stunning, and my chocolate and praline tart was a significant dessert moment.

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My daughter at her tender age of almost-thirteen is growing up far too quickly… but such is the nature of an increasingly media-fuelled childhood where parents are often all-to-reliant on gadgets for providing “entertainment” rather than a more stimulating environment to grow up in. Anyway, such as she is, my daughter is showing an increasing desire to spend every Saturday afternoon in the shopping centres and Subway outlets of Newry with her friends… and I cannot really complain too much because, firstly, they all seem to want to do it but, more importantly for me, it provides a much needed spell of several hours for me to present as my true self for a precious few hours at times in the week I have not previously been able to do so. So, both today (15th Nov) and two weeks previously, the same pattern has been followed – I closely shave in the morning, drop daughter between 1.15 and 1.45 in Newry, then hurtle home to change back to my beloved female self, and then spend around three hours shopping at my local town of Banbridge. Today, in summary, I did the following:

  • Went to the post office where I gave the girl behind the counter a clothing envelope containing a top to return to Wallis who Andrea now has an account with. I also asked her for literature for parcel weights and prices.
  • Dropped a pair of boots off to have the heels re-done at a small outlet; I was prepared for a subdued reception, as the owner and a male customer, who obviously knew each other quite well, were having an animated conversation with an amount of colourful language… but NO, all was well, he took the boots off me, I asked how long they would take and the price, and he answered just like I was any other customer.
  • Spent a while browsing clothing stores (AGAIN), though partly for Xmas gift ideas. Bought a dressy scarf for someone (no, not you Kirsty), tried on a lovely coat too… though at a reduced price of £64 I could still not really justify it, after recent clothing purchases.
  • Retrieved my boots, queuing for a while behind a family group who had locked themselves out of their car and were hoping for assistance; the owner paused his conversation to give me my boots, which he has done a good job on.
  • Drove over to Banbridge outlet, where I had a mocha and a yummy muffin; I had a lovely conversation with the guy serving me, mainly about the diminishing daylight hours compared to summer… and I have to say, I did fancy him a bit.
  • Finally a whizz round Tesco for a trolley of groceries, before rushing home to wipe off my face and pick my daughter up.

As is generally the case these days, my whole time out as Andrea was devoid of any attention that might suggest I am anything other than an average woman. As I write, my daughter is about to go to bed… and, presumably unbeknown to her, I have been wearing nail polish the whole time since my afternoon trip. I suppose I am being exceptionally reckless, though the nail polish is in a very subtle, pale shade of pink, slightly paler than one’s natural nail colour with a slight sheen to it, and pale enough for the greyish end of the nail to show through too. Hmm, do I wipe if off tonight or not… yes, no, yes, no…. uhhh….

9 thoughts on “A mammoth email from my parents to their TS offspring… as well as a grand day out with Kirsty and increased Andrea-time

  1. Don’t count on dear daughter not spotting your nails. My guess is she will if she hasn’t already. A very jam packed day indeed. Where do you get both the energy and time for all this non stop shopping? Yes that meal was just perfect in more ways than one, and by and far the best yet, though the restaurant on the Upper N/ards Rd served a very good meal also. Your long day at work certainly had taken its toll on you as it was so obvious fairly early on that you were simply exhausted. You are trying to pack too much in. Take good care of yourself

    • Thanks Michelle; don’t worry, the nail polish is (largely) gone. With less than 7 weeks until my planned coming out to daughter there is no point in losing control of the situation in advance.
      X

  2. What Michelle says about your energy and activity levels! But lovely to hear of your adventures out and about 🙂 As you know, I’ve a theory that DD understands more than you reckon, so I shouldn’t worry about the nail polish – I suspect it’s no big deal for her.
    At least your parents are communicating and asking questions – I hope they’re willing to listen with open minds to the answers you give. Based on the example you’ve shared, I admire your patience!
    Love and hugs,
    R xoxoxo

  3. Well I’m very disappointed that the dressy scarf isn’t for me, but that aside you just manage to fit so much into your time as Andrea.
    We have spoken plenty about the situation with your parents, and the fact that they are still communicating is a positive. The male HRT comment just shows a lack of understanding of our condition and what treatments work. It’s a bit like the next time your dad has a sore throat, why not ask him if he has tried putting a live frog in his mouth “and if not, why not?”
    As for our night out, it was great, particularly with Bob’s friends meeting Kirsty for the first time. But I disagree with Michelle about the restaurant, it was good but I don’t think it was as good as Il Pirata or Coppi.

    • The dressy scarf wouldn’t be for you Kirsty because it doesn’t have large circles on it.

      Male HRT and frogs – LOL, you know how to make me laugh!

      I disagree with you and Michelle about the restaurant… but then I would do, wouldn’t I! It wasn’t quite as good as Il Pirata, but it was better than Coppi – at least I could see what I was eating, even if it was very noisy.

      XO

      • Just proves we all have individual tastes. I loved Made In Belfast not only for the meal but because I just felt so relaxed, that is possibly why I did not really notice the noise. but yes Il Pirata was very very good also

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