Alas my European holiday is at an end; here’s a final photo from this morning:
Since I came out to my brother about Andrea, as the hours and then days have passed I have felt a deep sense of relief. Finally what I have hidden for so long from a close family member is now not a secret to him, and I don’t feel ashamed of anything I have told him. I have generally enjoyed the remainder of this holiday – I have hardly been able to present as Andrea (that would have been a big ask of brother) but my girly walk had been unrestrained, my voice while not full-on Andrea has been somewhat feminine, and I have generally felt at peace now that I have been honest and open with my brother.
I dropped him at the airport 3 hours ago as his flight was much earlier than mine. The weather deteriorated as we neared the airport and so I drove a few miles North and parked beside a quiet river to get away ftom people, seeking peace and solitude. I did not have the enthusiasm to do anything else. Why?
Now that brother is gone I feel a sense of loss… and perhaps he does too now. My loss? Well, it is wondering if I will ever see him again. I know I must give him time before he may even have questions for me, I can only hope my feeling of loss is only temporary and that in time he can accept me…..