Today I came out to my brother!

I am currently on holiday with my brother, mostly in Austria but tip-toeing into other countries en-route. For a nice change, he has done the planning for this break (usually I do it) and so far it is excellent with some beautiful scenery – below is an example:


I decided that if my Andrea-holiday went well then I would tell him all about Andrea… and as that break was a stupendous success then today that intention has become a realisation – just over five hours ago I came out to my brother! I gave him about 10 minutes of pre-amble, trying to explain how unhappy I had been, whether he had noticed a change in me, my counselling (generally speaking), and that I would always love him no matter what he thought. Then I gave him my 3-page come-out letter (2 general pages for all, giving the same message, and one specific to him) and I cried while he read it all. Once he had finished he said he was shocked but remained calm and unmoved, had thought something was up, then said it would take a lot of getting used to. We were at a lake, I asked him if he wanted time on his own, but he said he was fine, so we walked together and I told him all that I have been up to – appointments, walking group, man-attention, support group and friends, how I started going out and worked up, how I feel, etc. Carried on chatting on our 40 minute journey to the hotel, then I said I will leave him to talk about it more on this holiday if he wants and to ask me anything at all, but I finally feel I have been honest. He said he is trying to digest it all but appreciates the honesty and why I have not said anything before now. This is the lake where I told him (the sun had disappeared by then):


We have since had a nice dinner, wee stroll afterwards, and then watched the last half of a film together. I have wished him good night now, and said I am sorry if he sleeps poorly and it is down to me.

Will be interesting what tomorrow brings….

13 thoughts on “Today I came out to my brother!

  1. Wow, that’s very good, I can imagine how nerve wrecking this may have been, but girl, you’re very brave and truly honest .. honestly, I look at you as inspiration ..

    Love, and lots of hugs,

    • Thanks Nour; yes, very anxious during the pre-amble which became increasingly emotional, then tears poured down my face as he read… and he is not the quickest of readers! But he is my brother, and I love him for all that he is, I just hope that in time he will feel the same about his sister-to-be….

  2. Massive, massive hugs, Andrea. I know how much this has been weighing on your mind – it must feel such a relief to have had the conversation at last. So brave. I have a feeling all will be well, somehow…

  3. Andrea I am so proud of you doing this, and it sounds like as positive a reaction as anyone could reasonably have expected. Its going to take time for it to sink in, but the fact that he’s still talking to you and even dining with you is a huge positive. Just wonderful. Well done.

    Kirsty xo

  4. Hi Andrea, that was so so brave. I am getting all choked up. It really must have been a massive shock to him. Firstly he has not rejected you,and secondly you are both obviously still talking and that is the biggest hurdle crossed. No doubt he is going to have so many questions and so much to try and understand. There will be some long conversations. You really must have been quaking inside. I am so happy & nervous for you and I hope & pray that acceptance will follow. As you say this is the first biggie. Only after I had read this blog over a few times did I actually really see the two beautiful photographs you have posted. That lake will be forever clear in your memory.


    Michelle xo

    • You’d be surprised how many people out there cross dress at some stage of their life. Maybe sometimes we come out to other crisscrossed unknowingly whilst they remain in the closet

      I found out someone I know was dressing years ago…. who? you never would have thought in a million years.

      Just goes to show you….

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