September 11th – My First Gender Clinic Appointment

Considering the immense wait that some girls have to suffer for the referral to be converted to an appointment, I was really surprised that my first appointment was a month and a half after I was referred by my GP. The appointment date was 11th September.

I was only a tiny bit bit nervous transforming back to Andrea in the morning, hindered a little by heavy mist which made my decision on what to wear a little uncertain. But once my face was on the sun shone through and my choice was made – a lovely beige summer dress with blue and red flowers, a red cardi, and nude shoes.

It was my friend’s birthday so she had the day off and we met up for lunch before my appointment;  it was nice to see her, catch up, and have a joint birthday treat out. I had a slight incident while there, I went to the ladies loo and upon return one of my heeled feet slid on the polished wooden floor! Luckily I didn’t fall, though left a skid mark on the wood. Anyway, enjoyed the lunch, and the waitress referred to us as “ladies” when gesturing us to our table, which was great.

My appointment was at 2.00. When I got to the waiting room I was suddenly extremely nervous… but was soon invited in and calmed down quick enough. The session was in some ways similar to my first counselling session, in that it was going through my whole history… but MUCH more intense, it lasted 2 hours 40 minutes! It started from birth, went through all periods of my life and covered relationships with all categories of people at each stage, including family, daughter, teachers, friends, discussed me being bullied at school, punishment at home, marriage and divorce, and current events, including walking group, and Ivan. At times I was tearful so tissues were in hand. The lady was nice… but told me not to rush things, which I suppose is good advice, but difficult to take – when pretty much every day without presenting as Andrea is a struggle, I just wonder how much longer I can stand it, especially when I am sitting here typing away a few days later after a full day as Andrea (detail in future post), at 23.40 still fully me, feeling just PERFECTLY at peace with myself, feeling just wonderful. So I left slightly dejected, not just over the challenge of my timeline but also at having to cover in detail about my pre-TS experiences – I KNOW I will have to do this over any again with them, but it just seems like muck-raking, especially the TV periods of my past. So I went over to my friend (another Andrea) who I had had lunch with for an hour of heart to heart.

Then headed home, stopped at Sprucefield shopping, first went to loo (ladies, of course), then to Boots for cosmetics where I spent quite a lot of money. The girl who put the stuff through the till was really nice, we had good chat, and she called me sweetheart.

Then went to Tesco supermarket near home. First I returned a couple of tops and there was a lot of discussion with the girl at the till as someone (name of culprit not supplied, to protect against embarrassment) had got foundation on the neck line of one top and she had to ring supervisor to confirm I could return it – it was great to hear the conversation, her talking about me saying “The LADY said this and that”, “she this and that”, etc. Anyway, all good in the end, went onto do my shopping, paid at the check out where I initiated some good chat when the woman didn’t make effort herself.

Overall a good day, no negativity the whole time, and I’m in the door with the clinic now. Next appointment in a month….

3 thoughts on “September 11th – My First Gender Clinic Appointment

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