As regular viewers will have read, I am now on holiday and not looking forward to prolonged suppression of Andrea.
I am in Austria with dear daughter (DD) and brother, see picture for a view from a walk in the mountains on our first day. So far, I don’t feel too bad (early days) even if my daughter tells me to smile sometimes because I am on holiday…. but then yesterday when I was smiling a lot (while writing an email as Andrea to Kirsty) she told me to stop smiling so much…. so I just can’t win. I have been doing at least a semi-girly walk most of the time, after all, if anyone notices then they will never see me again… although DD said I looked like a ballerina when I was stepping over a wet, muddy patch in the forest. I am also trying to use my softer, slightly girly voice with DD and bro… but maybe I am doing it wrong as DD is not complaining about it… unless she is getting used to it. While our day of walking was nice, I of course wished I could have done it as Andrea… and I am totally confident that I could have!
This morning I woke at about 8.00, tossed and turned for a while, and eventually opened my eyes… and scared the life out of me. Owing to my orientation on the mattress I was facing directly at some mirrors, and the image of my male face was just awful.
I have taken a wardrobe risk this holiday and brought my girly bootcut jeans to wear in the evening – I wore these during my holiday in May with bro, and he didn’t notice… or didn’t say anything. But would DD? Of course she bloomin’ well did! She didn’t notice until we had had dinner and got back to the room when she then said “Dad, they look like girly jeans!”. Oh hell. I came out with some lame statement that some guys wear skinnier jeans just like some girls (for some unearthly reason which escapes me) wear baggy boyfriend jeans. And the trouble was, bro was in the background, listening to this I presume. She didn’t really buy it, and said “What are u wearing ladies jeans for??” accompanied by some laughing, and I just said they were the only ones I had to bring as all others were massive (true, coz I used to be fat) and these were all that would fit, so will be wearing them again. Later on she said that they looked weird on me.
Last week DD also spotted that I have shaved my arms! Isn’t she observant! Again, she said this in earshot of bro…. but away from him I asked if she’d prefer them to be as hairy as bro’s (he has very dark, thick body hair – ugh) and she said no. Anyway, that hasn’t come up again.
I am hoping the jeans won’t be mentioned again. I am also hoping that they will be able to form part of the preamble when I come out to DD, along the lines of “You know the girly voice you kept telling me off about? And the girly jeans you didn’t like? Well…..”.
We will see…..