Gee, my mood has been all over the place this week! In hindsight this has been down to work activities and severe lack of Andrea-time. Monday I had a bad day, Tuesday was good and I felt like I could have easily done it as Andrea… and then I woke up on Wednesday feeling like a zombie (lack of sleep and effects of antihistamine) and felt I would never cope as Andrea. I even let Robin Williams suicide cone into my mind and started wondering if my road might ultimately end up there. How stupid! I’ve never done drugs, drink little, don’t have celebrity pressure, etc.
Anyway, Wednesday started to improve when I phoned my new EAP counsellor, she was really nice on the phone, and so I have an appointment on 3rd September. Then I left the office at 3.00 and, once at home at 5.00, had a nap for half an hour to recharge. As usual, no record breaking return to Andrea but I was out just after 7.00, happy with my appearance and SO happy to be me.
Went to a large Tesco supermarket where I bought a couple of pretty tops, one of which I know my daughter likes! (Though not on me, I suspect). Got on completely fine there, no reaction at all, checkout girl was lovely, we had a great chat and I was happy with the voice. Then onto coffee-with-Kirsty, though made a pitstop at a shopping area to go to the ladies loo – I partly did this coz I was bursting, but also to vary my Andrea experiences, and all was fine. Had a lovely time with Kirsty at Costa, no bother at all there from anyone, then onto support group for some mixed chat… which improved when the CD (not dressed) landlord departed – I feel uncomfortable while he is there, partly because he drinks quite a bit and then drives home, which is utterly wrong. Was good to see the girls, even Pamela…. well, until she changed back, but I understand her restriction.
So, feeling good about moi…. but in 2 weeks I will likely be either tearing my hair out or be way depressed – I am off on hols, and while it will be lovely to get away, not work, and be with my daughter and brother, there will be no Andrea-time at all. Grr…