I suppose I should consider myself lucky today – I had not anticipated being able to present as the real me at all today, seeing as yesterday I was due to pick up my daughter… but last night she went to a disco and then a sleepover, and so the opportunity was there for the taking.
So last night I painted my finger nails… and this morning woke up to a very miserable, wet and windy day, almost too wet to be bothered going out. Almost! Took the usual amount of time getting ready… and about 10 minutes from being ready to go out I had a text from my daughter asking me to come and get her as she was bored at her BFF’s house! Oh hell! I thought… so I ended up in the strange position of negotiating with her to come and pick her up later!
So I managed to get out for 90 minutes… and I was on Cloud 9 the whole time – I was really happy with my appearance as I headed out the door (including a new pair of ankle boots from Next for only £6 in the sale instead of £26), and felt SO confident. I got on great while I was out, with no stares or negativity at all. First I went to a charity shop and dropped off another bag full of mixed items, including guy shirts – had a nice bit of chat with them, they were very grateful for me bringing them stuff, and I said that I’d keep on coming unless they told me to stop, and they laughed! Then I went into a local department store and had a good browse around the ladies clothes, and a nice saleswoman came up to me and asked if I wanted any help, and then said to give her a shout if I needed any advice with size and gave me a wee pat on the arm; I didn’t buy anything though, a lot of stuff was very expensive, even in the sale. Popped into another charity shop and tried on a lovely velvet jacket (which alas was slightly too small), then onto Dorothy Perkins for a good browse where I picked up four lovely tops and had a lovely chat with the sales girl there…
…and then it was time to head home, as I was overdue for picking up my daughter. So, rapidement, the nail polish came off, then the outer garments, and then all the make up… and even with all that gone, just with my hair, camisole top, and underwear, to me I still looked like a girl, just a very plain one with a slight facial hair issue. But then the rest of my presentation had to come off and once that was done tears were in my eyes as I donned one of Bob’s T-shirts and track trousers to go get my daughter.
And the next opportunity to present properly as Andrea will probably not be for 11 days, as my daughter is with me for over a week, and my brother will be here for a few days too to “baby” sit while I am at work. Of course, it will be lovely to see them… but as the days go on I am sure it is going to be frankly agonising to suppress the real me for so long. 😦