Quick update… as must get to bed early for a change!
Well, further to my previous post, I needn’t have worried about the email screw-up! The National Trust customer services have been great, and emailed me back to say that in two weeks I should have a new card with the name shown exactly how I want!! So then I will be able to go into all of their properties as Andrea! Oh I am SO looking forward to that!
Had a good Wednesday… once I had sorted out my wardrobe! Had a disaster before I even started, ironing a mark into a top I have not even worn! Then I chose a summery look… and it started raining! But stuck with it, and the sun was out by the time I left. Drove to Lisburn for a supermarket shop. Firstly I returned a couple of clothes and over-priced mascara… and voice was a bit crappy. Then did my shop, bought a couple of bags of groceries, popped into the ladies look just before I paid; the woman at the checkout was lovely and I had a very good, weather-related chat with her, with improved voice. Then drove over to Costa and met up with Kirsty for a coffee, and had a great chat with her once my indecisiveness over food choice passed; Kirsty suggested a quiet table off to the side, but I felt that was FAR too safe so we ended up at a table right next to three young girls, and in the middle of other busy tables… and I think we got on just fine! Then off to support group, and had rather a better time there than last week with a good mixture of chat (thanks Michelle for steering the chat at times), including opinions of assorted clothes shops. Had a quiet and useful chat with Michelle before I left, and headed home feeling good about myself.
Oh, I opened up to my boss a bit more early this week. Just lately it has not taken much for me to spiral into a mood of depression over the fact that I am not yet able to live my life as the real me… and one morning my boss noticed I was in a real state and so we had a chat, and I told him that with the issue that I am having counselling for (GD – he doesn’t know this) then I am often already nearly at my stress limit by the time I get to work so have little capacity for more and I need him to be more understanding about that, and he said he did not realise the extent of my “issue”. So far this week he has been pretty good!
Ivan has started signing off all of his emails “Your friend Ivan”. He does seem to be a good listener, I don’t email him every day or as soon as he messages me, but maybe every 2-3 days. His last email was light enough and he said I should not worry at all if I want to pour out my worries to him as that is the sign of “a true friend”. Hmm, wonder if he will still be that if he finds out my history??? He is in Scotland now, with his wife attending the funeral of one of her friends; I wished them a good trip just before they left, he said it was really nice of me to do so though it seemed a natural thing to do. Quiet a number of support-group friends have expressed concern about any meet up with him and to take care… and it is ALL very good advice, but I do want to strike a balance with him and not push him totally away either because I think he is a nice person, it is interesting to email-chat with someone with big, common interests… and I have never felt so special before, having being called “fascinating” by him. Moi? Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before… but then again, I am a very different person from this time last year.