The title of this little post is where I am now at the end of my weekend.
Up until 7.00pm I had had my daughter with me, so could not be my true self… for most of the time. Yesterday I dropped her off in town to roam shopping centres with her BFF… and so I had less than 90 minutes (after a nap) at home to try and be Andrea. But it wasn’t fulfilling, I didn’t have time to have a shave so I just dressed, put the rug (and not even the normal one) and some make up on, and then got on with a few things around the house. And as it turns out today, I can see now that the facial hair was the crux of the problem… and from my own point-of-view I don’t know how Conchita Wurst is happy with her beard! Maybe the difference is that she is intersex whereas I am TS? The make up added some colour. and I arrived at a good lipstick look by accident… but the hair (on top and on face) was a real problem. I know, it sounds so obvious, but with limited time, that’s what I did… and it seemed slightly a backward step. BUT, I did some purging of my female wardrobe. Huh? As a TS, am I not supposed to be getting rid of male clothes? Well, from my pre-TS days (i.e. CD/TV) I had quite a number of silly stain blouses in my wardrobe, and so I tried a number of them on… and they are just totally wrong, and so 5-6 have ended up in the charity bag. I still have a small number of more classy numbers, but the awful red and green ones and the frilly, floppy ones are now all consigned to history.
Today I am very pleased with myself because I have given my home a HUGE tidy up and clean, and thrown loads of stuff away… including a huge pile of male underwear. Of course, I wonder why I didn’t get rid of them before, but with a daughter around the place now and again who at least used to like to help me choose my attire then a few pairs are still necessary (not that they have been worn in over four years) but they are now mostly in the bin! A couple of T-shirts are in the charity bag too. Now that my daughter is away, I have had a lovely relaxing bath and a close shave (not just face, but arms and legs too), and I am sitting here in just knickers & bra, an above-the-knee Dorothy Perkins dress, and my girly hair… and I feel like Andrea is back home. I have no make up on, but looking in the mirror the real me is there – she just looks a bit plain. But she is there, she smiled back at me…. and I love her being such a big part of me.