As some readers will know, I have recently rather unexpectedly attracted a couple of admirers, including Ivan who is married! And I thought I had convinced them that friendship was all that was on the cards. So it was slightly worrying on Tuesday to then receive an email from Ivan where he says (to join some comments together from him) that I am “intelligent and fascinating” and “a lady worth exploring in some considerable depth over a long lingering dinner”! Uh, gulp! Am rather flattered though, especially with the lady tag again!
Yesterday I was looking forward to a quick dinner out with my best friend in NI & Ireland – Kirsty. But two things put paid to that – firstly, my train was 20 minutes late… and consequently Kirsty got too hungry to wait and had a sandwich. Grr. But I broke my world record for transforming back to full-Andrea, down to 70 minutes now.
Eventually I met with Kirsty at our usual coffee shop at 8.35pm and we had a nice long chat, with no bother apart from a curious teenage male when we first entered – maybe I should have given him a big smile or blown him a kiss… except I am not bold enough to do that. Kirsty wore a lovely summery skirt with matching navy tights, and thankfully not high heels. It felt good to be out with her… even if some resigning news from her saddened me just a little (see her blog, it’s a good read).
Later we went onto our support group where it was nice to then also see Michelle… but, for the first time, I felt rather out of place and wished I was having more of a girly time, whether it be out to dinner with Kirsty or at my walking group, able to truly express myself. The conversation got swamped by music and comedian chat, the former a topic I am largely unable to contribute as it is invariably about artists from before my time. But what really got to me was a conversation concerning songs about cross dressers and/or TVs… and I frankly felt uncomfortable from then on, because I am SO not there any longer, even if I appreciate those who either are or have restrictions that prevent them from journeying where they would ideally like to go. I longed for the evening to become a threesome with only Kirtsy, Michelle, and I to have more of a balanced chat with some girl talk… but it could not be. But my tiredness did not help… and so I announced rather earlier than normal that I would go and, outside, had a bit of a private chat with Kirsty and then Michelle about the evening, and had a nice big hug from Kirsty – she is good at hugs!
I longed for normal, balanced chat infused with some girly subject matter… but it was not to be – perhaps I should have steered it with some of my news about admirers and walking, but I had got too fed up and tired by then to bother and I sometimes feel I am gloating and I don’t like to sound big-headed. I will go back there… but whether with the same frequency I do not know. I could live with just having coffee and/or dinner out with Kirsty… but then I would miss Michelle which would be a shame.